The first time I watched The Farewell, I was overwhelmed by discomfort, happiness, and sadness. I was sitting in a movie theater in New York City, watching a character so similar to myself that the movie felt foreign. It was half in Chinese. I related to Billie’s struggle contending with her identity and culture of growing up as a first generation Asian American. I laughed with her, I cried seeing her frustrations, and I saw my experiences reflected with authenticity for the first time. But my unease stemmed from my ingrained internalization of foreignness, and thus, this film felt like a foreign film. Billie was too American for the Chinese audience, and her experiences were too Chinese for the American viewers. It was cathartic. I wanted more. I wanted to see works of art that portrayed these experiences, history, and thoughts.

The ambiguity of Asian Americans in America often is used and defined by different societies. As a Chinese American, the homogeneity of China labels my difference in upbringing as a foreigner. In America, before anything else, my skin dictates alien. From the yellow peril, to model minority, there is a lack of sense of belonging and acceptance, but instead a prescribed mold to be fitted in. Growing up, and currently, I see a lack of visual representation in portraying the experiences of living in the in between of two cultures and societies, especially through the lens of Asian Americans.

Thus, the collection of prints presented in my degree project is a culmination of research and experience that represent the attempt in searching for what it means to be Asian American. With personal and historical motifs, I am reflecting on aspects of my experiences and history in finding a sense of belonging. With these prints, I want to add to the narrative of living in this in between space by questioning the ideas of home, and elements that speak to identity. I hope my degree project evokes discussions on what it means to be Asian American and bring focus to this minority group. In doing so, I want the presence of these prints to create a space for Asian Americans where they can see reflections of themselves represented in this world.